Grow.

i'm going to 19years old in around 2 months. getting older and older. suddenly feel that i dont want to grow up. i miss the past. miss my childhood. miss those moment when i was young; when i was a primary student; when i was form 1,form 2 & form 3. when i was the age, all things are so simple.all people are so naive and innocent. laugh everyday and nothing to worry. sometimes i don't like now.it's so complicated. we grow up, need to think a lot. force ourselves to choose something.

we can't ever get 2things in the same time.even though we have them, but it won't last longer. we can't maintain, one or both you will lost at the end. this the fact, we need to force ourselves to accept it, but, it's really hard to choose;to make decision. this is so called life. we need to choose or make decision everyday on everything. this is part of the disadvantage when we grow up. when we were young, we don't need to choose while people will choose for us. but, that time, we will blame them that why choose for us?we want to choose ourselves.see, human are so complicated.

when we grow up, we have a lot of things to busy with. friends will not getting closer like last time. we will only come out when we are free but it's hard to arrange. when we grow up, we have to learn be independent. we have learn to take care ourselves. it's no longer like last time that every moment have people beside you; hug you when you fall down; feed you when hungry; coax you when you cry.


you have to walk alone when nobody comes with you. sometimes, i feel lonely. i need someone to care me; to beside me when i'm sad; to coax me when i'm down; to hug me when i fall down.i don't like to walk alone, even though sometimes i said "please leave me alone." but actually i not really mean it. i need someone to come with me; i need someone to hug me and tell me" you are not alone,you have me."


I want someone to be there when I fall; I want someone to see me through it all; I want someone to hold me in my sleep; i want someone to show me what i need; i want someone to know just how down deep and all I want is YOU.

someone told me, i'm hurting myself actually. perhaps i should not care too much. i shoudn't care what others people say about me at my back unless they come to me and ADVICE me; my emotion shoudn't depends on other people, i shoudn't let people control me while i need to control my emotion myself. perhaps i should always remember this : forgive to forget. only forget every bad things will make myself happy.

there are a lot of people that may not like you, but there is also some people who truly care and help you. they are come with sincere. but, who knows who is fake and who is real? i said, follow your heart will do. but reality told me that, i always wrong. living is easy with eyes closed. once you open your eyes, you have to face a lot of things. face the reality and it's always so cruel. i like to dream and imagine. i always day dreaming and sometimes i hope that i don't need to wake up. dream and imagination always so nice. what if i can live in imagination, there will be no tears in my life, but i know it will never happen. people said, tears is to help you grow up and tell you learn from the mistake.

lastly, i want to remind: no matter how people said about you, as long as you know yourself well, change yourself from the mistake and maintain the good things. there have evils that say about your bad or trick you, but there are also angels that will help you.

JUST BE YOURSELF will do.